When one fear result to many other fears
Sometimes we fall into a fear that is too difficult to overcome. And sometimes it results to many other fears. Making us feel like we’re crashing down. But we can’t stay in this situation for too long, how will we pick ourselves up?
Imagine you got abandoned by your loved one. You were left behind and you cannot find reasons why. Eventually it makes you question your worth, your capability to be loved. It makes you tired. It makes you doubt if you will ever be enough. It makes you blame yourself, wishing you can turn back time. You fear you can’t really keep and give love back.
How will you stop the feelings that torment you?
Recently I found myself in looping fears. I tried to resign from my job. It started when I felt I lost my place (condo), my friends, and my Facebook page that I built for so long.
It’s crazy how looping fears can start and it’s crazy how far it can go. But I’m telling you, there are really times that we fall and it’s so hard to get back up.
I found myself fearing — I am wasting my life, going on the wrong track. I am being a slave to a corporation, or to money, a prisoner in an office. It made me thinking I am missing a lot of opportunities outside. I’m not using my full capacity as an artist. It even made me jealous of my colleagues who make more money, have more time, and enjoy more adventures than me.
I still feel these fears but like what I said, one cannot stay like this for too long. We have to find a way out. We have to stop the hurting. We are not ourselves when we’re bleeding emotionally. We have to heal.
So how do I intend to do that? I’ve been trying to search for help, been reading some articles, talking with some people and doing some reflections. And I would like to share what I have found, so far.
Focus. Problems will always be too many. But most of the time, we don’t have to solve it all. Sometimes, we just have to focus on the problem at hand. Or sometimes, try to answer the root problem instead of trying to answer all the little ones. One thing for sure is, when we try to be present at all the problems, that’s when we feel we’re breaking apart.
Connect. One of the things I learned from writing is that — we’re not alone with our feelings. Someway, in some point of their lives, others must have felt what we’re feeling. Releasing can give us relief. Being listened to can give us a sense of getting understood. Hearing advice can help us find our solutions, even if what we’ve heard is the opposite. Knowing somebody is there, willing to help, can give us strength.
Distract. Rest your mind. Find escape. Sometimes our battles cannot be fought fiercely. Sometimes we have to gather our strength first. Give time for ourselves to heal, and to chaos to settle down.
Acknowledge limits. Sometimes our fears come from our desires to know: How will things be going, what’s waiting for us, when will things change. But we must accept that we are limited. We cannot always be ahead. Life won’t follow us, we follow life. We must learn to continue even some things are unknown.
Trust yourself. You’ll have the strength. You’ll have the courage. You’ll get the chances and you’ll make it. You’ll find the love. You’ll reach your goals, or at least the things that will make you happy. Keep going with your heart, with your hope, with your dreams — and you’ll end up fulfilled, wherever it may be.
— Jerico Silvers